Healing Coaching with Dmitri Bilgere

Questions and Answers about Coaching with Dmitri

What is the Healing Coaching process?

In the Healing Coaching process we start by getting clear on

- your situation,

- the problem you are having in that situation,

- your heart's deepest longing in that situation, and

- the upsetting belief you are holding about what that situation means for your life.

I then help you bring that upsetting belief before your internal experience of the Divine (whatever "the Divine" is like for you).

It turns out that when you are able to bring an upsetting belief to the light of the Divine, to your "inner blessing current," that belief starts to shift.

Then new insight, motivation, freedom, and peace often show up in surprising and empowering ways.

Einstein famously said that we can't expect to resolve a problem on the same level of thinking that created the problem. This work is about finding solutions "the next level up."

Is this coaching religious?

While this work is spiritual -- because it is about strengthening your relationship with Something Higher -- it is not connected to any particular religion.

The work is based on this idea:

"It's a good idea to develop a relationship with some sort of 'blessing current' in your life."

Almost everyone has had some experience of feeling connected to something larger, a benevolent energy. Those experiences are almost always healing, and bring peace.

In this work, we look to develop a relationship with that energy so that you have the "circuit" of being able to tune into a blessing energy no matter what is going on in your life.

Some people call that energy "God." Some call it "The Great Spirit," some call it "Nature," or "Tao" or "the Oneness of All Things." It doesn't matter what you call it, and your picture of it doesn't have to match that of any religion or creed.

Can you give some examples?

Here are some examples from sessions I've run. I've changed the identifying details in these examples, but not the way the process went or the results.

Example 1: Mother is Ill

Becky recently found out her mother has a terminal illness.

When she called me she'd been so upset that she'd been unable to function, and had found herself "flipping out" during the day. She had taken to not leaving her house.

As we talked, we found that, as upset as she was about her mother's health crisis, what was making her "flip out" was this belief:

"There's no stability for me; the ground is slipping away beneath my feet."

As we went through the healing process, she started to develop a relationship with what she called "the Source of Stability." She had an experience of that Source, and started to realize that she could indeed rely on it for stability.

As she "drank in" that experience, she began to understand that she could even bring this sense of stability to her Mother and to her other family members in the difficult times ahead.

Several days later she told me that the "flip outs" had stopped, she could leave the house again, and felt much calmer.

Example 2: Problems at Work

Mike has two employees who fight a lot.

Worrying about what might happen next between them was upsetting him and making him lose sleep, even when there wasn't an active conflict going on.

As we talked during our phone session, we discovered that what was really bothering him about the situation was this belief:

"I'm stuck in the middle and have to fix everything -- AGAIN."

As we continued, he saw how this belief was not giving him the inner resources he needed to solve the problem.

In fact, the belief was turning him into the opposite of the guy who could solve it.

As he put it, "Believing that I'm stuck in the middle, and that I have to fix everything, makes me a lousy mediator."

As we continued to talk, he realized that his heart's longing is to be a bridge to peace. He further saw that he could not be a bridge to peace while he was being upset.

We worked through the healing process, and found his inner "blessing current." As he experienced the feeling of that blessing, he started to see that "the way to peace is peace."

And as he brought that new energy to his belief that he had to fix everything, he started to feel at peace with the situation between the people who worked for him. He started to know that he could step away from the problem and be at peace, and then bring that peace to his feuding employees.

He started to actually feel, and "be" the peace that he needed to bring to the situation. He ended the session feeling much better.

The day after our talk, his employees got into another conflict. He told me later that during that conflict he was "much more at ease, and saw the possibility of dealing with it, without anxiety."

He told me that

"It didn't bug me so much. I was able to hear what people were saying, rather than being wrapped up in my own anxiety, and that helped us move through the problem. I was able to sort through the conflict much more easily, and make a decision much more easily than I would have before.

"I was more able to bring people together, and not worry about doing the wrong thing. I was able to make good decisions about the situation independent of my 'hooks.' They still don't like each other, but things are working for me and I'm not so racked up about it. Being able to be at peace, and bring peace, has made things much easier for me."

Example 3: Feeling unappreciated

Todd was stressed at home, and felt that he wasn't being appreciated.

He felt strongly that if he could only get people to appreciate him more, he'd feel better.

He came to me wanting to know how to "structure a conversation" with the people in his life that would get them to see that they needed to show him more appreciation.

As we talked during our session, we discovered that what was really bothering him was this belief:

"I just have to suffer through life, alone."

Everything unfolded from that belief.

To him it had been "just a fact" that he had to suffer through life, alone. Eventually, the pain of that belief became intolerable, so he had decided he had to make a change. And the change he had decided to make was to finally find some way to force people to appreciate him.

He was having a reaction to his painful belief, and trying to change his life by getting other people to behave more the way he wanted.

Naturally, the people in his life were having none of it, and, if anything, becoming less appreciative as he tried to set them straight on how they should behave.

In our session he began to discover that he didn't need to change the behavior of the people in his life. What what he really needed was to bring some healing to the idea that he had to suffer through life, alone.

As he turned with that idea to his inner experience of the Divine, he started to see that he was never really alone, and that, through everything in his life, there was always a Divine presence sufficing him. A lot of his anger left him, and he became more able to respond to his situation and the people around him with harmony, and be at peace.

While his problem of feeling unappreciated was not completely resolved in one session, a door opened in his heart that gave him the resources to move forward with more hope for its eventual resolution.

Example 4: Business arrangement gone bad

Suzanne had a business arrangement go bad, and was feeling helpless to deal with it.

She was so upset, in fact, that it was hard to face the problem at all. But she needed to handle it, because there was a lot of money at stake.

As we talked during our phone session, we discovered that what was really bothering her was this belief:

"No matter how this turns out, I'm going to end up being disrespected and made fun of."

You can imagine how hard it was for her, as a person believing "I'm being disrespected," to deal with the problem she was facing. She was upset and felt very little freedom to respond imaginatively or flexibly.

As we went through the healing process in our phone session, she connected with a Divine energy that told her that "There is an endless supply of goodness flowing toward you, and it will never stop."

From the genuine experience of that blessing, she no longer felt "stopped" in her situation. It gave her the inner resources she needed to face and deal with the business problem she was having, without having to struggle with a sense of being made fun of, or disrespected.

By her own description, she became a person who had what it took to be present, and to act appropriately. She got "freed up" to authentically handle what was going on.

Laters she emailed me this:

"I have much appreciation and gratitude for the dynamic you guided me through. I feel much lighter and more present. I have awareness and my pride back with who I am once again. Infinite goodness is flowing to me and through me all the time. Anything less than that is just a little bump in the road and surely I will bounce over it."

She now has put the problem into mediation, and feels much more ready to move forward to its solution.

Example 5: Many recent traumas

I worked with a man who had recently had some big traumas in his life, and who was in pain.

While he had many issues he could have worked on, we quickly came to see that what was really bothering him was this belief:

"My suffering is permanent, and I can't change it."

No matter what we did with the other issues in his life, as long as this overriding belief was present, I knew we wouldn't gain much traction anywhere.

As he got clearer on that issue, he saw what believing it was doing to his life. "It's totally deflating," she said. "There's no hope, no confidence."

As we talked, he was able to turn to his idea of the Divine, and ask, "Is it true that this can't change?" He got a strong response in his heart that things can change. This simple revelation opened up a whole new energy. He said "Things can change. I can move confidently and boldly," and felt much better.

What can I expect out of a session?

You can expect some movement on your issue from any session, though of course one session may not be enough to transform a long-standing issue. That's why I'm also offering discounted package deals, see below.

In a typical session we will find out what you want (your "heart's longing"), and what you are not at peace about. We'll go through this process, find the belief that is breaking your heart, and look to discover and bring that to a higher blessing. In the first session you'll also receive some training on a tool you can use anytime to help you connect to a higher blessing.

What are the costs/logistics?

A session takes about an hour, and can be done on the phone.

Cost: A single session costs $100. The package tuition is $320 for four 1-hour sessions (that is a savings of $80 from my single-session price). You can start with a single session and then "upgrade" to the package tuition if you like.

If you have ever wanted to have a regular connection to someone you could ask questions of, find healing with and get support from, while getting to what really makes a difference, then this package could be right for you.

Your next step is to sign up below, or email me at db@dbweb.org or call me at 608-217-4956.

Contact Dmitri Bilgere

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